Flo Kaja: Her Reality is Too Real for Reality TV to Handle

 I took some time to learn what it was like for Florina “Flo” Kaja to rise from humble beginnings with a never say die attitude, only to become a truly Bad Girl.  Flo, who was born in Staten Island, NY., grew up as one of two daughters to an Albanian immigrant couple and gravitated to success with her risk taking, generous approach towards society and crazy ways that have made her a household name in Hollywood and Reality TV’s Bad Girl Club.  The energy and passion Flo possesses in life can do one of many things, but mostly empower others to be themselves despite what society might say about them.  When you have the strength to be yourself and show it, you in turn give those people close the opportunity to deep inside to find out who they truly are.  The quicker you come to self-actualization; the easier it is for you to help others find their calling and reason for breathing.  Flo Kaja has this gift and uses it for the benefit of all.  With the assistance of Satori F.W., take a step inside the world of LGBT rights activist Flo Kaja, because she and I both know you wouldn’t be able to walk or even survive a block in her shoes.  This is a mere glimpse inside a bad girl’s world.

So let’s jump right into this interview!  Tell everybody if it was singing or acting that was your first love in terms of creative and performing arts?
That would definitely be singing, because I was singing ever since I was 7 years old.  I used to watch a lot of the Disney movies when I was younger and would sing just like the Little Mermaid.  As for acting, that was something I started at the age of 15.  

Who taught you and inspired you to sing?

My grandmother used to sing when I was younger and she had a beautiful voice.  She wanted to sing for everybody, even at parties.  Sooner or later I would pick up on my grandmother’s talent and realized I had her gift to sing. 

What advice did you get about the world from your father before he passed away?

My father was always the type of man to teach me to be strong and not be afraid of anyone.  No matter how big and strong the next person is you have to stand up for yourself.  Don’t ever, ever, ever give up on anything you are doing.  He was a very tough man who taught us how to box and be tough when we were younger. 

Describe your background prior to joining the Bad Girls Club cast?

Before I went on the Bad Girls Club I was a bounty hunter, even a paralegal who could do hair, nails and make-up; just a jack of all trades.  Anything you need me to do I can do.  I was a teacher of young kids and writer at one point.  It’s like there’s nothing I can’t do, kind of like Superwoman.

What’s your favorite thing about being in your shoes?
I can go out in public and get nothing but love from everybody.  I’m very confident in my ways and my mentality, and I’m a very strong person.  I believe if the average person went through what I’ve been through they’d probably kill themselves, or go crazy.  I love to be me.  I’m very comfortable in my own skin and I won’t change for anybody.

What’s your best advice to women that struggle with their sexual identity?

Come out and be who you are quickly, because what happens is the more you hold something in, the worse things can get.  Whoever you are, just be who that is because we live in an age where you have to express it and accept it.  Be who you are and don’t try to please everybody.  

When was your first bi-sexual experience and what was it about that moment that made you go both ways?

My first bi-sexual moment was when I was at this girl’s house and we were watching Dawson’s Creek.  On one of the episodes these two girls made out with each other. She asked me if I ever made out with a girl and I said no.  She asked me if I wanted to try and I said yes, so we did and I liked it a lot.  It didn’t feel like I was making out with a girl at all and it was a beautiful thing.  It progressed into more without going into detail.  After that, I never let go of that side of me and since then I like women as well as men.

What are your first thoughts when you see a female with a nice round butt?

I wrote a rap about that subject, because I have an infatuation with girls that have big butts.  I never had a big butt of my own, but I always had a nice bust size. When I see a woman with a fat ass walk by, my first thought is “Cot Damn!  That shit is fuckin’ beautiful!”

What male traits push you more towards females?  
Men don’t listen as well as women do and there’s more of an emotional connection.

What female traits push you towards men?

Sometimes women get too emotional and they get too dramatic with too many problems.  With men it’s very simple where they want you to feed them, fuck them and shut the fuck up.  Women are more complicated and it’s like dealing with yourself all over again.

Some women don’t like all the cameras on them and value more privacy, so what is it that draws you to the spotlight?

I love the cameras on me.  You know, some people smoke weed and some drink and some can get on the stage and dance without being nervous.  I think it’s about being comfortable and I am.  Being in front of the camera or on stage gives me a high like a drug and it’s like my body comes alive! 

What made you want to become part of the Bad Girls Club cast?

After doing everything a woman can do in life, I decided I really wanted to be on TV.  I didn’t even know what the Bad Girls Club was until I saw a clip of one girl punching another girl in the face and I thought to myself “Yeah, this could definitely be the show for me!  I can handle that!”

What was the overall experience like for you as a cast member, and would you do it all over again?
My experience was amazing and I’m planning on joining a future Bad Girls Club cast.  Those girls better beware, because there’s going to be a more mature, classier and even crazier version of Flo on the next season. 

What are your thoughts about women who are passive and obedient towards men?

When I’m with a man I’ll be obedient to a certain extent just as I’d expect them to be the same.  As long as you do that, then you’re good to go.  I believe a man should control a lot of situations, but presently not enough men know how to take control and more women end up taking control.

Being that you’re a strong believer in Allah, what’s your perspective on U.S. military involvement in the Middle East?

I am totally against it and I don’t think anybody should get involved with war, period.  It’s not because I’m Muslim.  To me, it doesn’t matter what religion you associate yourself with.  I’m an Albanian-American and I love and appreciate the sacrifices made by the U.S. military, but I just don’t agree with war as a vehicle to resolution.

 

It’s said that you have aspirations of opening up a community youth center, but when you run it, you’re not really hands on with the youth.  How would you balance the business side with your desire to be hands on making a tangible, personable difference with your own words and guidance?

I want it to be a place where young girls can come in and talk with counselors about the same things I grew up dealing with as a young woman.  I’d find a way to reach out to them, because I feel that no one can relate to them like I can due to all the things I’ve been through.  It’s easier to relate when you’ve actually been through some of the same things.  I’ve gone to high schools to speak to kids and I believe the best way to make a difference is by actually showing up and talking to them.  This is much deeper than just some publicity stunt the next celeb would pull.  I guess you can say that I’d be like a ghetto Mother Teresa trying to help all the people I can.  

Would you ever open up a performing arts academy for children to take vocal lessons, ect? Not really, because there are plenty of those to go around, but if I did open one it would have to be for children who have problems, whether it’s mental, emotional and/or psychological issues.  

When it comes to your music career, what blend of concepts are you using for your first album?

My concepts come from my own life experiences.  I can rap and sing; also I write all my own lyrics.  People might not know or care much about my life, but they’ll definitely relate to my music and wake up to see life from a different perspective.  It’s so real that people step back and say, “Whoa! Did she just say that???”  I’ll respond like, “Yes, I did just say that!”  Artists have to start talking about real shit in the world and not just about clubbin’ and poppin’ bottles.  They should make music about the side of life that people don’t want to hear, so you can still dance to it.

What’s a personal strength and a weakness you feel you can improve upon?

A strength is that I have this great ability mentally to block out things that bother me.  With relationships, I’ve always been able to cut ties and move on easily.  A weakness of mine is that sometimes I can feel so sorry for other people and forget about myself.  Sometimes I need to be a bit selfish and take care of myself, because I’m always worrying about the next person close to me.

One thing you’d love to do that you haven’t done yet?

I’d like to travel to different places and volunteer to raise money for a town or something, just something hands on where I really feel like I’ve made the biggest difference and improvement possible.

Do you have a story to share with the readers, along with any last comments? 
I want the world to know that you can stereotype Flo all you want, but I’ve always been the type of girl that no matter what people say about me they can’t judge me! There was a time when I was in Harlem, New York and my friends and I wanted to get somewhere, but we didn’t have money to pay for a bus or cab.  We ran to the train station with some weed on us and jumped into some random person’s car, only to get to the bridge and be pulled over by cops.  My friends and I dipped out on the driver.  All the stuff I’ve been through in life is what makes me a bad girl.  I’m out of my mind and slightly crazy!  I’ve done things that make me think back and be like, “Holy shit, I just did that!?!?  What’s wrong with me?”  I have so many stories that when I write a book, one day people will read it and understand me better.  I didn’t come from wealth or anywhere high up in society and even if I become super rich everybody that knows me knows that I won’t change at all.  I know that I was put on this Earth for a good reason.  I will make sure that everyone is proud of me and that they all understand me and my life.  When people see me on TV in May 2013 and beyond, they’ll see the inner side of me and a funnier version of Flo, and I’ll share a lot more with my fans for them to get to know me better.  I want people to know they should keep the faith, be happy and be themselves. Don’t let anyone bring you down under any circumstances, ever!  If you believe you can do something, then be prepared and get it done, because determination is more valuable than talent alone. Come follow us @X10magazine